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Necessary Backtracking: I Messed Up

Updated: Jan 26, 2023

I made plans this time last week to kick writing ass and type up a few things and in general, get a writing move on. Well. A friend got back to me about my novel and I realized that within the first 35-ish pages of my novel I made a large error. And to make my error even bigger and nerve fraying, I had been sending out the first 10-30 pages of my novel to agents. Ten agents to be exact. Those are ten agents I no longer expect to hear from, as this error was quite glaring. I honestly have no idea how I overlooked it for so long as it was not only glaring but repetitive. Ugh. So now I've sent my novel to an official beta reader type person to double check for plot holes and the general 'read-ability' of my work.

I know I should hire an editor, but that is... expensive. Especially for my Chinese salary. So instead I'm pay like... 40usd to a beta reader to get an idea of what's up. I've also decided to take a month long break from this novel. I won't send out agent queries or anything during this time. After that, I'll come back, review it again, take into consideration any comments from my friend or the beta reader, and trim it up a bit more. And then I'll let it rest for another month.

I'm trying to look at this as a learning opportunity, so my writing in the future can be better. That doesn't mean I wasn't hella upset for a few days though once I realized I'd fucked up, cause I was. I basically sent my poetry and novel queries and then got nothing else done except novel edits almost immediately after I sent out my queries. My novel chapters for other works did not get done, my poetry did not get typed up, and I missed the deadline for the MWG (I'm still attending though). My character even died in Habitica. Who dies in Habitica? I did manage to read and make notes on a friend's poem though, so that was something at least.

There is only one solution: move forward like a train into a brick wall.

Healthy? Debatable. But I've seen tanks do it in games, and they get shit done through repetitive striking, so I can too. I usually go for magic casters, but I don't think being clever is what I need here anymore. Just blunt force and sheer will to get shit done. The goal is now to create a schedule that is timed out to accommodate for work, exercise, writing, and activities.

I'mma just schedule everything, stick to it for a week and see how it goes. Seeing my plans through seems to be the biggest problem I'm having lately, especially when I get so easily de-railed by work or my mood being subpar. I'm thinking I need to either be more time specific (in a realistic way) and/or I need to focus solely on things that I can get done in manageable chunks. If only I didn't have to work, so much more writing might/probably/hopefully/theoretically get done. Also, I have bigger plans than my blog being some sort or weekly update on my writing, so I'm going to go back to the format of writing about something (a poem, flash fiction, a reading, writing style, etc..) and then a writing update at the end.

Until next time!

(A real life image of the amount of coffee I need to survive a morning)

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